Samstag, 9. Oktober 2010

Thoughts

I am charged with murder. First degree was brought up but never placed on paper.
Am I guilty? Yes, I am.
Would I do it again? Given the same situation? Hmm, never will we know, will we?
I want to say "yes", but I also want to say "no".
Do I regret what I did? No, I do not.
I do regret the pain and sufferingmy deed cause so many.
The victims family, my own family, especially my daughter, for the latter I will never forgive myself. Never.
You may think I`m harsh or worse. You may wonder why. It`s sîmple really, a trust was broken, a childs world was defiled by greed, a friendship was betrayed. Forgiveness was present for awhile but the victim ( me or her?) refused to admit and continued to deny what was done. It went too far. I ended it in rage.
Now I have a lifetime to think about it all, yet I do not regret what I did. In ending that persons life, I put a stop to a future of betrayal, deceit and theft from that person against my family and friends.
Extreme?
I think not.
When a person loses all in their checking account,savings, their credit is ruined, and regular bills are still due, all because of a so called friends betrayal, well it just needs to stop.
The police are powerless to act without solid proof. In my case justice was sewed, swift and sure.
I think it`s fritting that that same justice also caught me for my crime.
Now only one record on file, a memory and a tombstone remain.
Life goes on such as it is.

H.Lee Sept.30.2010

A moment of doubt

I once tried to say I didn`t love you...
Well, it seems that it was a lie
Then I wanted to hate you
I failed again, oh my
I guess I wanted to test myself
To see if it was really true
There is nothing I`d rather be
Than in love with you
So it seems I was a liar
And a failure too
When I tried to test myself
Love came shining through
It all happened some time ago
A moment of doubt gone away
Now I shout to the world
I`ll love you forever and a day.

H.Lee Sept 30.2010